note to self: i need to pimp this blog. i need it to look presentable and neat. now it's just a white mess with black writings on it. not that it isn't therapeutic (white, calm, serenity, and all that crap). it's just a bit plain i guess. sighs. can't seem to find the time to do so though.
i find an inclination to pen down something every time i'm in some form of stress. don't think it's a good thing, but i guess i still need to do so. lol :D
guilty of abandoning this virtual space of mine. a space i used to turn to in times of happiness and sadness. oh well i'm back now :)
i'm in such a good mood these days. so good that it's not even me :)
stumbled upon this piece of writing on Loyarburok, and i tot it was spot on.
I would like to report a death,
An unfortunate suicide I must confess,
The newspaper fell from the 14th floor,
Now it tells the truth no more.
An injury to the head, it seems,
Tongue missing, they heard no screams,
Autopsy shows poison in the ink,
Must explain why some headlines stink,
Stories spun into webs of lies,
For answers then, look to the skies,
Lips blue from chewing bribes,
The hole in integrity never looked this wide.
Yet blood that was found on grey concrete,
Belongs not to him that deservedly sleeps,
But hundreds of those who now lie cold,
Silenced swiftly for being bold.
Time of death, nobody knows,
Perhaps the day he sold his soul.
When your spine isn’t made of bone,
It’s time to carve your own gravestone.
So if you must cry, weep carefully,
It’s not like we lost some deity,
The news we knew was news no more,
Maimed by fear into foul folklore.
And if you must read, read between the lines,
Or thrust your ear to old grape vines,
The pen just died by its own sword,
We can rest in peace now, thank the Lord.
Rationale: The death of the newspaper as we know it. And a lot of us know a lot. It was propaganda that twisted the “news” surrounding the bombing of Palestine (or the Hamas if you like) by the Israelites. So we can believe that what we read isn’t real. All that ink used to write all those lies…you can say it’s the blood of the innocent being spilled onto papyrus. God bless Mr. Teoh and his family.
*credits to loyarburok.com, and Screenshots*
a peaceful march that was deemed too "unruly" and too "provocative" for the public.well, 20,000 odd people weren't afraid to show how they feel.
it was just a peaceful march for crying out loud. grow up la wahai politicians di Malaysia. and someone kat Sabah tu dgn lantang bersuara that ISA won't be repealed.
whether it will be or not, we decide. not you. wanna know how? 13th GE la ye. i'll be praying for your downfall then :)
still trying to rationalize what the stupid M'sian cops did this afternoon,
it's been almost a week already since you left us. sad but true, the best film and creative ads director malaysia can ever have, has left us for good. kak yasmin, you left us too soon. too soon to see your fruits of labour. too soon to see your dream materialize. the colour-blind Malaysia you envisioned, we're not there yet. in fact, when will we ever achieve it? and yet the Almighty one felt He needed you more up there.
sheesh. talk about being selfish kan.
you gave us love and forgiveness. acceptance. respecting one another's culture. religion. interracial love. puppy love, young love, a love that is not colourblind. and not just that, a love that transcends and crosses boundaries, far beyond our comprehension at times. you were someone ahead of our time. you made us believe that it is not impossible to create 1 bangsa Malaysia. 1 bangsa that we can finally be proud of, despite of our different upbringing and religion. after all, it is the uniqueness that binds us together.
kak yasmin, i'm tearing for u inside, for i'm too proud to show it. thanks to you, i'm proud to call myself a Malaysian. i will never forget the day i met you. it's been an honour to have shared a conversation with u, it's been my pleasure getting to know you better. thank you for your ads, and thank you for your movies. you've always said that u created your movies with no messages underlying it, for you like it to be interpreted by the viewers themselves. a personal self-discovery, as u'd like to put it. well done kak yasmin. thanks to you now, 1 bangsa malaysia no longer seems a distinct possibility.
i hope you're resting up there and rocking heaven up every once in a while with your music and creativity, for only God knows how much he needs all that up there :)
you will be missed,
and so i've witnessed a few endings to what i thought were rather beautiful relationships. relationships built on promises, hope. and yet, misplaced priorities, a somewhat misconception that it will last - only for that dream and thought to be swept away so unforgivingly, causing the parties involved not only anguish, pain, betrayal, in fact i can probably go on a while longer with the repercussions.
my question remains; why begin something only to let it fizzle out in the end? why not fight for it, when you know that if both parties did so, a more logical solution would've been conceived? some gave up too easily. some have other priorities. some just don't know how to end things. which is sad, really. the inability to be honest with your partner, it just isn't right.
sighs. experiences like this unfortunately makes us grow up. without a doubt. learning to rationalize and not over-react, is probably the right thing to do. not many are able to do this, especially in such situations, matters of the heart as some put it, but if u manage to do so, i simply applaud you for your maturity. to handle such emotions and feelings - you need to be strong. and if you are, then good for you. there is no need to worry about you, and for that i'm glad.
never discredit whatever that has happened between both parties. treasure it, cherish the good times, do away with the bad ones. we humans are imperfect, in more ways than one. we have the capability to inflict pain, and to receive it too in return. it might be a mutual loss. it might just be. if you really love that person, well my advice would probably be - if it's meant to be, it will be. but also, never close your windows to other suitors. when one window closes, another opens up. be open and receptive to others. who knows, your knight in shining armour might just stroll along, and sweep you off your feet? :)
that's my 2 cents worth again i guess. i think i'm good at this. or am i? ;D
thinking too much maybe,
pictures are in no particular order. but it tells of pretty much the same things. things that i hold dear and close to my heart.
a union between two soul-mates.
a celebration of life.
friendships and brotherhood that has stood the test of time thus far.
a fusion of culture - being Malaysian at its very best.
art and culture, in its purest form.
great company, good food - what more can u ask for?
the fact that i'm more Indian than a Chinese does not bother me at all. i call it embracing different cultures life has to offer, and having fun while at it.
what about you? have you got such a story to tell?
i'd be interested to know ;D
p.s. congrats annae and anni!! :)
more like tired. tired of being someone i'm not. tired of being an example to some, an older-like bro to others, only to be somewhat crestfallen by recent events. tired of handling responsibilities when i don't even have time for myself. the point of no return now no longer seem to be a distant possibility.
day one in uni. everything's alright so far. although, i miss having my batchmates around. beginning my final year in uni without them - it's just downright weird. but still, i'm feeling optimistic about it. i really am.
deep in thought again today. something i've been doing a lot these days. maybe it's the season. or maybe it's just due to the fact that i'm back in uni again. whatever it is, i've been thinking la.
some are just plain-god-damn lucky to find someone who cares for them in return. some will find it eventually. some found it, but then things between them fizzled out along the way. do i consider myself lucky then? i think so. in fact, i know so, for a fact.
but then again, to those who haven't found that particular individual yet, fret not. time will always be on your side. why the rush? why the need? some define moments like this as desperation. a certain urge to be recognized, appreciated, loved to a certain extent. to be splashed and lavished with attention - a dream come true to some, a nightmare to many others. some say it is their time already. time to be cherished and loved, for who they are. well for those who chose to wait for the right individual to come along your way, good for u. to those who rushed things, in essence keeping things open by doing just too much, then probably learning things the hard way is the only way to realize.
the possibilities are just endless. coincidences. chance meeting. a "meet-cute". anything can happen really. so why bother tying yourself down? why bother getting to know ppl better through an unconventional way, when conventions usually work? why, in the search for a person you can rely on, the whole point of doing so loses its meaning slowly but surely?
disappointments are a part and parcel of what life has to offer. the key to it: bouncing back when it matters most.
to those who might have found it but you somehow allowed it to leave, well it's not the end of the world. in fact, it's just the beginning. lots of possibilities, opportunities in store, and the fact that you yourself control your own destiny. sure, u'll meet some jerks, bitches, a-holes along the way, but as long as you know what u want, nothing is impossible.
to those who's just lucky enough to find that person, try to hold on to it. sure, the journey isn't a nicely laid yellow brick road that will eventually lead you back to Kansas. (home, figuratively speaking), but making the most out of it, it's not a mission too impossible to accomplish. being hopeful is one, being optimistic is another.
now i'm not saying my opinion is final. nor is it anywhere near definitive. but i think i'm not wrong to say that life always has a way of making the best out of everything. never question what life has to offer - it has its own way in making sure things will not screw themselves up, unless we ourselves choose to do so.
a general advice - think carefully and take time off to have a solid thinking session by yourself. never be hasty in making a decision. if you think life is superficial, i suggest you think again. if you think life's been unfair to u so far, well then quit complaining, do something about it.
there. just throwing everything out in the open. i guess i can sleep soundly now.
and try to coax myself into attending classes tomorrow. lol :D
uni begins again, come Monday. another hectic sem ahead. i hate making predictions, yet i think i'm gonna be right this time around. a whole lot of responsibilities to shoulder again. and the ever-elusive dean's list spot looks to be slipping away yet again. make or break - this sem will be. feeling hopeful, and i hope it lasts.
just came back from a meet-up with li lean. i missed hanging out with her so much :s
and then the topic of hols came up. places i need to go. or would love to go. a short getaway.
Bali. Phuket. Aussie. Siem Reap. just among the few places in mind. problem is; when?
cheap budget flights - i'm gonna look out for u!
putting life in perspective once more. done bit of thinking during one of those random free times. what i wanna do, where will i be in 5-10 years, will i still be able to spend time with people i care about, and yada yada yada. ongoing process. seemingly no light at d end of the tunnel yet. but i will persevere.
gonna try make a difference during this year's NLLC. i need to prove a point, to myself. it's time to step up.
ok enough pep talk. time to sleep.
so despite all the efforts and surfing all over for proper blogskins, i guess simplicity still works best for me :)
ok i confess. i'm pretty much a very good procrastinator. i'm never good in doing anything else but that. in fact, all i needed to do was to upload 'em. but i didn't. sighs. da slacker i am.
i seriously hope not.
ok lah. so maybe going on a diet might be a little too drastic. (this is the evil me who is talking.)
i'll try something less drastic.
not too sure what it will be yet, but i'm guessing it will be good anyhow.
for the body at least.
on another note, it was good to see siewwei in Penang finally!
had lotsa fun going around my beloved island with her and her friends, scouring for food.
(total contradiction with my last post, but whatever :p)
and indeed we found food. *winks*
found a new char koay teow spot which i thought wasn't too bad, and i just have to get used to the taste 1st. (which means more future visits ;D)
bangkok lane's mee goreng is still ok, though never was my favourite.
fried oysters at pengkalan kota foodcourt - still DA BOMB.
it was quite a food tour today. although, she couldn't fit in anymore tandoori, naans, nasi dalca, nasi kandar or P.Tikus wantan mee, but i'm sure she'll be back for more :D
dropped by uni today. there isn't much work yet, but i'm guessing it will all pile-up soon.
Wisma Putra to call, letters to prepare, PPA12 stuff, debate matters - gosh and i was actually hoping and looking forward to a break in Singapore. sighs. looks like Singapore will have to wait, at least for a while.
sent erwyn safely to his matriculation college in Pahang 2 days ago. in probably about a year's
time from now, he will probably be on the way to do his med degree already. really am very proud of him, but i don't show it to him well (ain't that good with emotions, especially with him) so we usually tend to end up in fights and arguments. as always. total opposites, the both of us. i'm usually the prodigal son, he's the family favourite. i'm more streetwise, while he's a goody-two-shoes who is usually good at what he's doing. he studied in Penang Free School, i was in St. Xavier's Institution. (note: both are fierce rival schools in Penang.) LOL :D
so in a nutshell, we ain't that similar. in fact, i don't think we are. but all that aside, "he ain't heavy, he's my brother..." ;)
that's all for now. time to hit the sack!
whether it's a bane or boon, it's yet to be decided.
a failed attempt to pose like the ultimate poser of Singapore! LOL :D
right. so why the sudden appearance of these pictures? sighs. in light of recent events, seemingly i mite not be able to leave Penang! at least for this week and the next.
a sudden rush of things to be settled - debate matters and the upcoming islamic summit - enough to give me quite a headache! but being the hopeful me, i'm still keeping my fingers crossed. for i still want to go to Singapore. i sincerely still do. just for a few days please? although, keeping in mind that, you don't usually always get what you want in life, kan?
hopeful, yes i am, hopeful for today,
the source of what triggered me to change to something plain - far too many. yet one thing's for sure, it was a long-time-coming. simplicity goes a long way in this new outlook, and it's looking good thus far.
looking forward to a break in Singapore within the next few days. not too sure as to when i'll be going down south yet, but i tink it's soon. i miss the days when i choose to hang out in a coffee joint, sipping down what i believe to be good coffee, and spending time with good friends, instead of wandering aimlessly and doing nothing productive (which is something i'm pretty good at, trust me.)
my life is heading to a crossroads. i can see that happening soon. and when that happens, what will i do? i maybe happily attached now, but in another year or two? i dare not say or even think about it. being wary of the future - some say it's paranoia. i say it's preparing for the worst. life can take an about-turn really fast. and when it does, i want to be ready for it.
to continue studying? or to start working? feel free to let me know, and let your opinions flow freely aite? i'd appreciate 'em :)
time to go. and when i return, i hope to already know what i should do. or at least thought of knowing wat to do.
seems random, this post maybe. oh well. lotsa time to think. it's the holidays already after all ;D
trying to always look on the bright side of life,
p.s. mite start a blog soon on m'sian politics. or at least what i think about it :)
I need to go on a 'walkabout.' in Aboriginal term, it's the rites of passage, towards adulthood. towards maturity, both physically and mentally. For me though, it holds a different meaning, yet towards a similar end.
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.
just got back from my sojourn in UUM :)
i usually don't get irritated.
random entry. i know. but it's a catchy tune. sounds damn good. i love it!
i hope u will too :)
I Love The Whole World - Discovery Channel
"It never gets old, huh?"
"It kinda makes you wanna... break into song?"
I love the mountains, I love the clear blue sky
I love big bridges, I love when great whites fly
I love the whole world, and all its sights and sounds
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada
I love the ocean, I love real dirty things
I love to go fast, I love Egyptian kings
I love the whole world and all its craziness
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada
I love tornadoes, I love arachnids
I love hot magma, I love the giant squids
I love the whole world, it's such a brilliant place
Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada, Boomdeyada
spread the love!
there comes a time when one must step out from the bubble he/she is in,and face the world. that said, i think i need to do that too. sighs.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. It took me quite a while to actually reply to these tagged notes of randomness, however interesting it is. (or was, now tht i'm responding to it already.)
2. My favorite game during pre-school was "make-believe." I always thought I was a superhero of some sort. Guess I got a rude awakening huh?
3. Alcohol has never been a good friend to me, though it's suffice to say that i've suffered its wrath only ONCE. thus far.
4. I once tried an orange juice diet for 3 days. At the end of the 3rd day, i finally decided it was ridiculous. And this is probably where u start laughing. T.T
5. I've never been thin before, at all, in all of my bloody 22 years of existence.
6. I once thought cursing & showing the middle finger to someone actually deserves a good beating.
7. I think of myself as quite an optimist, but i do not discount myself from being a pessimist and a realist at the same time.
8. A sucker for romantic comedies, chick-flicks, and i get freaked out watching horror movies. There. I said it.
9. I used to think about death and losing loved ones a lot when I was small, but I guess I grew up fast enuf to realize it is all a part of life.
10. I'm in the mood for another road-trip! Any takers? :)
11. Favorite movies, ones that I can always relate to - Forrest Gump, Love Actually. Don't ask me how or why, but I can never get bored watching 'em.
12. Every girl's best friend - they call me. If you need some proof, well ask my friends. The girls esp :p
13. I live for food. Ok as if that's not clear enough and I have to clarify it. Sheesh.
14. I live and breathe for Manchester United as well. But I don't earn enough to buy an original jersey YET. So for now, imitations will do! :p
15. I hope to speak English like how Hugh Grant speaks.
16. This is going to be a cliche soon, believe me, but Barney Stinson rocks!
17. I do the penguin walk really well. Or so it seems.
18. I care a lot abt the important people in my life. They are the ones I'd give my life for, and trust my life with. The 25 people I'm abt to tag, i can count on u guys, right?
19. I can never be photogenic, no matter how hard i try?
20. I love collecting flip-flops, even though my feet doesn't really look nice in 'em.
21. Into oldies, and wishes to experience the 70's & the 80's. Gosh I wish I had Doc Brown's flying, time-travelling DeLorean! Sighs.
22. Extrovert, yet introvert at times. If I seem arrogant, i'm just being defensive?
23. I used to have low-self esteem. But then life's too short to dwell over things like that. So screw it.
24. I have a knack for being the good boy among the bad boys? My repo with teachers, lecturers, friends' parents or girlfriends/boyfriends have always been impeccable and clean, no matter how mischievous I can be. :D
25. I'm still the walking, talking jukebox from high school. And i'm damn proud abt it!
and i tag anyone who reads or stumbles upon this!
thinking and re-evaluating options in life,
gosh i wish i hadn't been procrastinating and slacking much. at all. damn. but i did. so here i am suffering some of its consequences. report due tmr. recording session at 2. i can't wait for the weekend! just trying to steal bit of time b4 i have to go back to my report. dang!
hmmm. oh and i'll be watching Talentime tis coming Tuesday!! a month ahead of its scheduled release, all thx to Desasiswa Bakti Permai's charity-like screening :) i hope i'll enjoy it, as much as i enjoyed watching Muallaf :D
gtg now. oh weekend how i long for you!!
still procrastinating, as u can see frm tis hurried post,
the fiasco in Perak is an embarassing episode in the history of Malaysia, as a sovereign nation since 1963. here we have a Pakatan Rakyat-led (PR) government - in my opinion, unconstitutionally removed from their posts due to what i believe is a thinly-veiled coup performed by BN slightly a few days ago. defections are being likened to jumping frogs. and rightly, they have been. a deputy speaker - defecting for not feeling important enough and not getting all the 'perks' like the other state assemblymen does, acc to the PR, and 2 other bribery-accused assemblymen - "apparently seeing no future in a PR-led gov." then why run under a PKR ticket in the 1st place? why wait 11 months before defecting?
hello. i'm back.
time to reflect. yet again. on life mainly. maklumlah, hidup as manusias x pernah sunyi frm problems.
1st of all, i should stop eating a lot. so, eating moderately shall be my new year's resolution! (didn't do any, but i guess it's time to do one? :D) also, because i had my 1st encounter with diarrhoea, and no i don't like it at all. wouldn't have happened if i controlled my food intake, and proper consideration before whacking like a glutton. almost screwed up my 1st day of CNY. suffice to say la, perut yg sakit, ditambah with temperature yg 'mendidih' = me rejecting lotsa food! sighs. such a crime to reject food, and i had to do it.
i slowly find that i'm losing out and losing touch with lives of ppl i care about. except for a select few, i dun pay attention tht much anymore in the lives of others. maybe it's time to move on. or is it?
but then, true friendships are not things u can move on from!
from being close friends, to some, i'm just reduced to being hi-bye friends. boy tht sucks kan? maybe it's just me. or what i've become. highly critical and sometimes unforgiving, not as approachable as i was then, conceited, arrogant? maybe i am.
when i don't take interest in your life, when i don't drop u a line every now and then, it doesn't mean i've forgotten about you. i have no excuse to explain why or how, but the only plausible explanation i can think of is - it's part and parcel of growing up? i dunno, u tell me.
for lost friendships, it's has been my greatest pleasure to have known you, and to have shared your life, even though it was just for a while.
for friendships i'm about to lose, know that i nv intended for anything to happen, and if there's anything i can do to save it, pls tell me.
for friendships who have stood by me all these years, i salute you for being wonderful, influential and inspiring people, who have made a difference in my life, in more ways than one.
for friendships recently kindled, i look forward to being a friend u can always rely and count on, at any moment in your life, wherever you may be.
i try to please everyone. i really do. but i guess sometimes, it's just not enough?
maybe i'm just thinking too much. maybe.
time to sleep. getting late.
trying to overcome life's obstacles - one at a time,
to the oblivious, Muallaf will not be shown in Malaysia. it didn't get thru a "censorship board" called Lembaga Penapisan Filem Malaysia. if u ask me, it's idiocracy. screw u idiots. and guess what? due to popular requests, Muallaf will be shown in Singapore, AGAIN. Feb 26th! make the journey down-South to catch the movie if u want. i'd say it's worth it :)
took me ages to put this picture up. long overdued.
had my share of brushes with celebrities not too long ago.
Yasmin Ahmad, Mr.Clinton, Anwar Ibrahim among others. wat can i say?
i'm a lucky guy ;D
in Singapore, i was a slacker. turns out, i've always been one. random-kan? *laughs* nevertheless, it's always good to be home again. home is where the heart is. or smth like that :) joycie's back from Canada, and thanks to her, i'm a proud new owner of a black fedora! cekap siut!! *whistles*
busy sem ahead. 20 units in total. taking a political science paper in USM for the 1st time - malaysian government and politics. was expecting to enter and engage in lively debates [half-expected it to be conducted in English, but still in Malay la] over the structure and concepts in the government, only to be greeted with stories of Malayan Union and Malay nationalism. for now. and its relevance and importance, adding on to the lecturer's continuous mentions of the concept of Malay supremacy, suffice to say, saya agak kecewa dgn course ini, up till 11.42pm, Jan 7th 2009.
taking Tamil 1 too tis semester. Mr.Balan - informative. he knows of a lot of things, and often strays off his topic, but i guess tht's a good thing? re-living all my Tamil stuffs once again. thx to aiya back in NUS, i will ace tis paper over here :)
lotsa responsibilities to assume again tis sem - being BATI's YDP ain't easy. trips, movie screenings, t-shirts (looks good btw :D) and of course, BATI Nite, i mite need ideas for themes tho. ah so many things to do and manage, but seems like too little time? urghh! assignments, projects, they're all coming in 1 by 1. mite step into panic mode sooner than i expected. but tht will all fall into place later.
brand-concious. am i turning into one soon? err. some ppl say i am already. takpe la. constructive criticism? or a praise? aih i x faham la. anyways, kena pi check out gym rates dah. tmr. or this weekend? ASAP la kut. haven't done gym in 1 month. exactly 1 month. dah gemuk (mmg pun gemuk dah dari dulu, tp skrg bertambah 'comel' dah :p)
ok tamat ranting-ku. till nx time (or whenever i can sneak in some time la. org penting la katakan. busy siut :D)
p.s. din noe la pulak, yg Muallaf won't be shown here in Malaysia. sighs. a shame really. macam mana la industri filem tempatan nk berkembang, kalo citer citer revolutionary and off-mainstream x dpt ditayangkan? mcm mana minda dan mentaliti Malaysians nk berkembang, selaras dgn matlamat 2020? only time will tell.
tgh perasan x tentu pasal and in need of expensive coffee,